Thursday, January 14, 2010

Caution: May Contain Content Considered Gross by Some Readers

Ok, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, I like simplicity. So when it was time to repack my gym bag I tossed in the nearest gym clothes I could get my hands on. Which in this case was a pair of grey bicycle shorts and one of Kris’ blue running shirts.

So what that I would be wear bike shorts to my weight workout? It just shows people at the gym that I do more than just lift weights. Perhaps, I’d show them I am a MULTI-SPORT athlete!

Well I ended up showing a little more.

I showed up half an hour early so I could get a decent run on the treadmill since I have missed some runs this week. (I am still on target to meet my 500 miles in 2010 goal). My knees are starting to hurt and my hamstring injury is starting to flare up as my weekly distance increases. So I thought I would just walk. But I couldn’t help it I had to run. I can’t stand just walking. (The endorphins aren’t half as good!)

So by the time I started working with my trainer, I had worked up a good sweat. Great! Except I noticed in the mirror the color of my grey shorts was uneven. Odd.

I looked closer and saw that I had the worse case of swamp crotch I have ever had! OMG! I think the padding in my bike shorts just soaked up the sweat rather than wicking away it like my running shorts.

I guess this is why you wear biking shorts for biking and running shorts for running.

Needless to say, I was mortified. But I am not one to ‘freak out’ over these things. After all, the gym is the one place where the more you sweat the better.

Besides, statistics show that at any given place only 1% of the people in the immediate vicinity actually notice you. So if you think along that line, if you are in a group of less than 100 people, no one (statistically speaking) notices you! There were only about 80 people in the cardio room at the time. So my chances were good no one knew I was there.

Even so, I couldn’t help but wonder what I looked like from behind. If it was as bad as the front, I’m sure I looked like I wet my pants!!!! Ugh!

By the way, if I was 5’ 10” and skinny, and a guy nudged his buddy and said, “Hey, look at that blonde chick over there. She looks like she peed her shorts!” His buddy would look over and say, “Yeah. She’s got nice t*ts.”

But when you are short and thick, the buddy says, “Yeah. That’s gross!”

Which is a shame because I actually have fabulous breasts!

But anyway, I was glad I wore one of Kris’ shirts because it made me feel covered up. So I could focus on my workout. Which I nailed by the way. I was surprised I did so well because I took a whole week off. But maybe I needed the rest.

So I survived my return to the gym after a week’s hiatus. I got in two good workouts, (running and lifting). So, you know, even in the swamp life is good!

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