Wednesday, December 3, 2008


So, I've had a BMI of over 30 for awhile now. I think my highest BMI was 31. This week it was 30.9. I measured it a few days ago.

My husband went out a couple months ago and bought a scale. Why he got a scale I don't know. He's 6'2", about 170ish pounds, 5% body fat. He doesn't have a weight problem (except maybe when he has to wait for me to get ready before we go out.)

But he didn't get just any scale. It is the mother of all scales! Not only does it measure weight, it rotates displays of other measures like body fat percentage, body fat by pounds, hydration level, current bone mass and I think it can tell if Kris or I are ovulating.

You also program into the scale your gender, age and height so it can be more accurate. You can program up to ten people so everyone in the family can track their own body composition exactly. (You know, if someone has ten people in their family they are probably not paying attention to the ovulation tracker. ) Hhmm.

Another function of this scale is that it has colored LED indicators in the face. If you are in the healthy range for your age/gender/height of the item it's measuring a green light will elluminate, if you are below the healthy range a yellow light appears, if you are above the healthy range (i.e., unhealthy) you'll see a red light.

The first time I got on that scale, it started rotating displays of multiple aspects of my body composition, I thought the cops had driven into my living room there was so many red lights flashing! Good God! The neighbors ran over thinking there was an emergency in the neighborhood.

Actually, my bone mass and hydration always seem to register in at least the healthy range. So nowadays when I use that scale I see all three colors flashing as it rotates through my stats. Kris is thrilled. When we have friends over on Saturday nights, he plays his favorite dance tunes, sets me on the scale and it's just like the G*d damn disco!

Word must be spreading because the crowd at our house seems to grow each weekend. I'm not sure because I can't see the front door from the vantage point of the scale, but I think our next door neighbor is collecting cover charges.

I know Kris did not get that scale for me. He hates it when I weigh myself. "You are healther than most people. Why do you care what the scale says?"

"I don't know! I just know women aren't supposed to weigh much."

"Bullsh*t! You ride centuries, run for miles, and hike peaks. Any fat on you obviously isn't holding you back. Stop whinning and have another skittle."

Did I mention how much I love my husband!:)

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